Limitless — Lacey Cohen
Arguably the most important aspect of one’s comfort in any space is honesty. Being able to be honest about who you are, how you feel, anything of that nature is absolutely essential in feeling comfortable in a space. I can think of far too many examples of spaces that hinder certain people from the ability to be honest. The summer before my senior year of high school, I had a layover in Turkey, and I remember our trip supervisors telling us to make sure our Stars of David or Chai necklaces stayed hidden. In middle school, I remember that the kid who brought samosas to lunch one day didn’t bring them again afterwards because he was made fun of for his “weird food”. I have a friend who has to make excuses on the weekends because she can’t afford to go out. These are not spaces of comfort; these are spaces that prohibit certain people from being honest with themselves about who they are.
In this context, I think honesty is synonymous with authenticity, and comfort, for all intents and purposes, is synonymous with trust. Personally, I pride myself on my authenticity. I came out publicly just a few months after I was told to hide my Star of David in the Istanbul airport. Before that, I had never experienced the need to hide my Jewish identity, and I absolutely hated it. I decided that would be the only time I would willingly put myself into a situation where I had to hide my Jewish identity. I also decided that I would no longer be willing to put myself into situations where I felt the need to hide the fact that I’m gay.
I am now, yet again, entering the summer before my senior year. I can happily, honestly say that there are no spheres of my life in which I have to hide either my Jewish identity nor my gay identity. That being said, I’ve recently noticed another layer of this so-called authenticity. While I see no need to hide these identities, I’ve felt a need to suppress them, my sexuality in particular. I can’t even begin to count the times where I’ve felt uncomfortable in a situation or a conversation because everyone knows about my sexuality. I’ve found that the only way to handle this discomfort is to either make a gay joke at my own expense, or say nothing and just hope that everyone else follows suit. Sometimes it feels as though if I have been given a society-sanctioned limit to the amount of times I’m allowed to reference my sexuality in a day. Sometimes it feels like if I bring up my sexuality at the wrong time, it could affect my relationships. It’s become a complex puzzle in my mind of when it is okay to verbally express my gay identity, and when it isn’t.
I have some incredible people in my life. I know that their intentions are nowhere near these implications. I know a lot of it is my own perception. But what Wolverine Support Network has given me is a limit free zone that I have been lacking just about everywhere else. I don’t feel like I need to limit my honesty. I feel entirely comfortable. Wellness is dependent on these limit free zones. Social and mental wellness mandates a limit free zone. I don’t plan to cut myself off from my limit-imposing zones; I feel no need to. However that is only due to the balance I’ve found from WSN. No matter where you may find it, I think everyone needs at least one honest, limit-free zone.
